Stress Management Techniques

1. Change the game- Make the situation that is stressful different, modify that which is distressing in some way. 

2. Change your prespective- This is attitude management. Change what you are saying to yourself about it- change the interpretation you are making to make it more positive and less catastrophic. 

3. Think Positively- This is so important it's work saying again: work on emphasizing the positive in your thinking and your life. 

4. Change your body- This is building endurance through excercise. Regular excercise can do wonders to promote relaxation, improve self-esteem and genrally reverse the effects of stress. 

5. Eat Right- simple, but not always easy to practice. Good nutrition, a low fat, sugar, salt, processed food diet will go a lot further than will soft drinks, coffee and doughnuts. Fruits and vegetables are best. 

6. Relax- Use a specific relaxation technique 

7. Be Creative- Add a positive stress- a challenge, something you can do and feel good about it. The satisfaction you can derive is worth a lot. Everybody needs to feel special in at least one small way. 

8. Express Youself- through art, music, athelectics, drama, dance and appericiation of nature. Participate in something. Hobbies are good for you. 

9. Develop and Protect Healthy Relationships- this means building endurance through communication and social support. We can't go it alone in this world- you need friends, caring and love: all the positive emotions achievable only with others. 

10. Cultivate your sense of humor- Humor has a healing and protective power that is being appericiated more and more. Laughter is good therapy. 

11. Play- adults need time to play too. Healthy recreation and time out is important to physical and mental health. 

12. Seek Counseling- individual or marital. Talk with a counselor about those things in the past and present that make it difficult for you to more the person you want to be. 

13. Do something for someone else 

14. Plan Ahead- have alternative plans for handling predictable stressful events 

15. Seek Medial Attention- If you score high on stress tests. See a doctor. 

16. Learn to Forget- forget unpleasant experiences. Don't carry grudges. 

17. Pray- pay attention to the spiritual dimension of your life. You don't have ot born again to reap the benefits of faith. Hard core scientists are recognizing the benefits of prayer. 

How to Respond Assertively

LADDER 

L- Look at your rights, what you wants, what you need and your feelings about the situation. Let go of blame, the desire to hurt and self-pity. Define your goal and keep it in mind when you negotiate for change. 

A- Arrange time and place to discuss your problem that is convenient for you and for the other person. This step may be excluded when dealing with spontaneous situations in which you choose to be assertive, such as a when a person cuts ahead of you  in line. 

D- Define the problem situation as specifically as possible. 

D- Describe your feelings using "I messages." An "I message" expresses your feelings without evaluating or blaming others. Rather than saying, "you are inconsiderate" or "you have hurt me," the message would be, "I feel hurt." I message connect the feeling statement with specific behavior of the other person. 

E- Express your request in one or two easy-to-understand sentences. Be specific and firm. 

R- Reinforce the possibility of getting what you want by standing positive consequences should the other person cooperate with you. If necessary, state the negative consequences for failure to cooperate. 

Plan for being Assertive 

1. Identify those situations in which you want to be more effective. 

2. Describe what the problem is as speficially as you can. 

3. Write your assertive response (using ladder method) to be prepared to get what you want. 

4. Use body language (eye contact, speak clearly, don't be apologetic, make use of gestures and facial expressions for emphasis) 

5. Avoid being manipulated. 

Decision Making Model to Reduce Stress 

1. Recognize that you feel stress (pay attention to the signs and symptoms your body give you) 

2. Do a brief relaxation activity to prepare yourself fro the decision 

3. Identify your own personal values and goals, before making any decisions

4. List all alternatives (choices) and possible outcomes for each 

5. Make a decision based on values and goals 

6. Try it and evaluate results 

7. Consider other alternatives if you're not happy with initial results 

Being Assertive 

You are assertive when you stand up for your rights in such a way that the rights of others are not violated. You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously, you can talk about yourself without being self-conscious, you can accept compliments comfortably, you can disagree with someone openly, you can ask for clarification and you can say no comfortably. 

When you are an assertive person, you can be more relaxed in your interactions with others and avoid stress associated with feeling guilty, inconsiderate or being taken advantage of. 

Passive 

- doesn't stand up for own rights 

- pushed around easily 

- talked into doing things he/she doesn't want to do

- lets himself/herself take blame often 

- gets taken advantage of often 

Assertive 

- stands up for own rights 

- expresses feelings openly and honestly 

- considers other's feelings 

- gets what he/she wants without making others mad

- doesn't feel guilty when acting in own interest 

Aggressive 

- accuses, threatens, argues to get own way 

- steps on other without regard for their feelings 

- gets what he/she wants, but usually makes other mad in the process