n smile and lean toward others as they talk
n if standing, keep your body fully facing the people you’re speaking with
n ask questions and follow up on people’s remarks; and in doing so, focus on opinions and feelings, not just facts
n don’t interrupt
n compliment others
n try to find common experiences or interests
n mention some vulnerabilities and laugh at yourself
n draw others out and encourage people to join the conversation
n put energy in your voice
n at least at the start, focus on positive comments, not criticisms or complaints
n offer a variety of topics
n share observations about everyday life
n share your passions and interests
n don’t dwell on the minutiae of your life, especially annoyances
n remember: people give more weight to their early information (were you engaged, warm, distracted, pompous?) than to later information, so be your most charming at the beginning of the conversation
n remember: most people are more eager to be found interesting, funny, or insightful than to be interested, amused, or informed by you
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