Happiness Course

I was required to take a Happiness Workshop in my Psychology Undergrad. For one of my assingnments I was suppose to write a journal entry about something I used to believe and how it has changed. I was going through old school files on computer and came across this.


I used to believe that everything in life was perfect. Love, Marriage, Career, Education, Family, Friends, you name it! I believed that people have a choice and all they can do is make things perfect. I was always called, (still am, sometimes) the perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect. Nothing to should be out of order and everything is suppose to go the way I expected it to go. Along with perfectionism, I believed that people have choice about everything. No matter what it comes down, the individual got to choose what to do, what not to do, how to deal with things, when to do certain things, etc, which I related to the fact that if the person chooses than they should be wise and logical (as if it’s natural) and choose to best, which makes things perfect. There are a lot of perfectionists in this world, and I am sure there are a lot more strict perfectionists than me. After many disappointments and misery I learned that nothing is perfect. I use to be upset about every little thing because I couldn’t control it right, or I didn’t control it right, or because it wasn’t perfect. Little things that did not make a difference at all bothered me because it wasn’t perfect. I learned that little things don’t matter and nothing is perfect. I learned to accept that I couldn’t control everything. I have choices, but not to extent that I can dictate anyone’s life. I am glad that I learned that nothing is perfect, and everything can’t be controlled.
Another view I had about life was sacrifice is everything. Throughout my life, I have always given and sacrificed myself, my happiness, and my desires for other people. I never asked for anything, I always gave and gave, until I didn’t have anything. Time, money, emotions, energy, etc. I always gave, and I never got anything in return from family or friends. I though giving people was love and showing them that you care. To a extent, it is, but not the way I did. I crossed all boundaries to give to people, and to sacrifice myself. I have learned that people need to be on same page and have a reciprocal relationship. There should be a balance between giving and taking. I always though it was selfish to ask for something, even though other people asked of everything out of me. I always felt awkward doing it, and yet I don’t ask much, but I learned to not give my self completely and put myself available for people to hurt me, use me and abuse me. Recently, I have learned that life is about giving and taking. In Indian culture (which I was born in) we are taught sacrifice as the key component of Indian philosophy. Sacrifice is a virtue and people should sacrifice everything for people they love, regardless. I have seen my mother be that way all my life, and just like her I became that way. I found that always giving just hurt me and caused me to feel inferior as a person, but I learned that that is not necessary and give and take needs a balance.